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A collection of classic Judge Judy quotes submitted by fans.

This quote list has certainly grown and grown! As of the beginning of June, all quotes will be erased to make way for new ones. So, start getting your new quotes in now by
mailing us. If you have a favourite you would like to remain on the list, please let us know.


"And You Ought To Be Ashamed Of Yourself !"

"That must be the S-O-D-D-I principle - 'Some other dude done it' "

"On your BEST day you're not as smart as I am on my worst day"

"ay! QUIET!"

"If you live to be a
hundred you will never be as smart as me"

"Do I have stupid written over my forehead?"

"Yeah, and I was born in 1965."

"Have you ever heard of the KISS principle? Keep It Simple, Stupid?"

"This is not Let's Make a Deal, and I'm not Monty Hall!"

"When you mess around with Jail-bait, you accept the consequences!"

"I'm here because I'm smart, not because I'm young and gorgeous.... although I am!"

"DON'T lie to me!"

"This is my courtroom I can say what I want. When you become a Judge, we will talk."

"Do you feel as if you're getting whipped? (laughs) You sure are!"

"You spent seventy-two dollars getting your hair done? You wasted your money!"

"Two people can't talk at the same time. When my mouth is moving, it means that you need to be quiet."

"Do you know when a gift becomes a loan? When the relationship
is over. Have you ever heard that, sir? Well, neither have I.
I just made it up. I'm going to put it on coffee mugs."

"Sir, the table didn't have three beers and get up and move!!!"

"You are not a good witness. Because a good witness answers a Judge's question directly, and my question to you was a very simple one. A SIX YEAR OLD COULD ANSWER IT!!!"


"My grandmother always told me; beauty fades, but dumb is forever!"

"gotta job? well get one!"

"Of course I’m right, I’m always right.”

"I got an A for Torts in Law School.”

"BALONEY SIR!"

"I'm like a truth machine."

"I'm the boss applesauce."


"l have 3 sons so l know you are no gift! You're not even good looking!!"

"This birthday is going to be more expensive than you
thought!"

"That's going to be the most expensive curse word you ever said!"

"Did you just curse at him? Get out!"

"If you live to be a
hundred you will never be as smart as me"

"Ridiculous --- NEXT!"

"I think you ought to be quiet. You know, they don't need anybody
stirring up the pot. You're a pot-stirrer."

"Sir don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

"Do I look like I need help from you?"

"This is your aggravation. Not his. He doesn't want your aggravation...
Byrd doesn't want your aggravation... do you Byrd?"

"Did you forget you were coming to coming to court today?"

"I don't care what you think! I'M the one who has to make a determination
what is fair."


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